Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Mouse by the House

So i have a completely irrational fear of mice...not all mice just mice in and around my house. And it's not just an annoyance, its a legitimate fear like "jump on the furniture throwing thing" fear. So you can imagine my displeasure when I got home last night and there was this little bastard being half dead in front of my house just rolling around by the curb. He either had his brains scrambled by a bike or had rabies, but either way he was just there to scare the F out of me...

I can picture him now. His stupid little beady eyes watching me walk slowly up the steps, waiting for the door to crack open so he can lose his "rabies" act and rocket between my legs into the nearest storage area. THEN he's just gonna chill in the dark till my footsteps no longer grace the living room, creep out of his hiding spot and leave little baby mice all over the apartment just so they can grow up and eat my toes while I sleep...What a DICK!!!

Im mean come on! Why does this little thing decide to start dying directly in front of my house, out of the million houses around Milwaukee! Furthermore, why does he have to take so long? So I extend a plea to the little dude...get away from my house or you risk sending me into an anti-mouse insanity fueled rampage without any regard for my own safety or the safety of anything even slightly resembling a mouse....

FOR SERIOUS mouse....

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