Getting Ready For The End part.1

If you didn't know, The world is gonna end in exactly one year because the Mayans made a calendar a while back that says so. And Mayans never lie. So, unluckily for us,  the countdown to armageddon has officially begun and there is only 364 days left! To help you out, I made a list of things to do to ensure your readiness for the end of times...

this is part 1 of a recurring series to make sure you're keeping up with your armageddon prep (but I may never do it again because who cares...the world's ending.)

1. Stop bathing...everything smells like roses in heaven (or like gasoline if hell's more your cup of tea).

2. Spend all your money. The economy isn't getting better and being bankrupt doesn't matter if your dead.

3. Quit your job. Nothing says "I'm ready for the end" by being lazy and acting like you did in college.

4. Start doing hard drugs...your body doesn't need the health and just think how psychedelic that asteroid hitting the earth will look.

5. Start drinking...why should drugs have all the fun.

6. Settle your past grudges...wait...F that. Be a dick. Who cares, it's the end of the world!

Enjoy the first day of the last year of our collective lives and we'll see you back here for "Getting Ready For The End part.2: Get Raptured Like a Champ." 

Until then, Vote Leo Fleming for your post-apocalyptic Master of all that is Unholy. He promises 3 brains per family per day, a 112hr work week at an amazing 3 lashes per hr pay rate, and one personal day per year that can be used to worship any "LEO: Master of all things" sanctioned monument.

and here's a news story about it...

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/2012-end-world-countdown-based-mayan-calendar-starts-101657134.html