Lost in a Gale

well this weekend was a rollercoaster from super excited to tired, to bored, to drunk, to loud, to sleep, to hungover, to really hungover, to tired, to happy, to relaxed, to drunk, to happy, to excited, to really drunk, to fun, to super drunk, to sleep, to half-awake, to drowzy, to hungover, to sleepy, to artsy, to anxious, to sad, to indifferent, to "down", to sleep, to relaxed, to work... and if you don't want to sift through that clusterfudge I suppose this painting really shows all that off...

It's funny how paintings can figure themselves out without your intervention. I really didn't know what to paint, was overwhelmed (in a bad way) and just felt like doing soemthing...the marks weren't especially interesting and it seemed to be going absolutely nowhere, making the overwhelmy-ness that much worse, for a long time before I started to see something come out of it. It was a mashed-up mix of greys and blacks with no particular meaning, point, or interest, another so-far-failed piece on top of another failed attempt from a few years ago...another cursed canvas that never seems to take on a good piece. And then I saw a little bit of clarity...the marks revolve around an off-center point of yellow, creating a type of violent swirl that encircled, almost blocking out, the small glare of yellow left over from the previous piece. 

From that tiny little moment of recognition came the idea of an ocean storm scene; the bright lights of the lost ship permeating the winds, ocean spray and clouds, getting battered by the swells and the icy winds...from there it was lots of layering at a feverish pace....other than figuring a piece out, the hardest moment might be realizing what you want it to end up being, and then realizing you actually have to complete it yourself. It never seems to appear as you hoped, though you never know if what you hoped for is actually what the piece should be....it's back to the roller coaster.